I did it! I started jogging today! After getting the urge to jog a few times last week when I was out walking with the dog, but always suppressing that urge, I decided to go for a jog this morning. It was nice out - probably close to 30, and the street wasn't slippery.
But funny thing happened. I got out there and started walking and then realized...'hey, it is light outside!' (usually I do my walks before it gets light in the morning and after it gets dark at night...just because that is when it works best). Today I slept in a bit, so by the time I got outside it was 8:30 am and it was fully light out.
Then it happened. I got self-conscious.
I started imagining that every single neighbor was just sitting in front of their front windows waiting to watch me shuffle by in my slow jog...commenting at how this heaving mass of a body can jog anyway...and look at all the jiggles!
I kept walking, sure that every neighbor that might see me jog past their house would be passing judgement and chuckling at the sight of it all.
Why do we do this to ourselves? I was 1/3 of the way around the block and decided I was going to combat those negative voices in my head. How quickly they come in, and how destructive they are.
I began to think about the incredibly friendly older gentleman neighbor who I have literally seen nearly EVERY morning (rain, shine, snow, sleet, wind, brutal cold, no matter) shuffling by in a barely walk/jog kind of way for the last THREE YEARS! And do I chuckle at his slow jog or the way he is bundled up against the cold winter? No. I am instead INSPIRED by his dedication to his health, despite the limitations his ability and/or the weather bring. I always think in my head as I see him go by each day "GO GUY! I'M PROUD OF YOU!". So why am I now telling myself that every neighbor would be passing negative judgements on my attempts at healthy living? Silly.
So as I thought of that older gentleman, I reached the half-way point in my round-the-block venture and said "it's now or never!" and just started jogging! I went for it!
I jogged all the way home...half-way around the block without stopping! It really isn't a long distance at all...a block and a half probably, but I did it...and it felt GOOD! YAY WIN!
Some readers that have been reading for a while probably remember that I started out this journey saying that I wasn't going to track my eating and/or my calories because I knew that didn't work for me. Remember?
But then I had two weeks go by where I thought I was doing everything right, but had negligible loss on the scale. So I decided to write down what I was eating every day...and a few days later decided to count the calories after my sister told me that perhaps I wasn't eating enough. Then I found out I wasn't eating enough! So I continued tracking my calories as I bumped up my caloric intake a bit.
And then, dun dun DUN! After one week of tracking my calories at Spark People, I discovered I LIKE IT! Not only do I like it, but I find it immensely helpful, and I see how it impacts me negatively if I do not keep track.
Case(s) in point:
1 - Thursday was our homeschool co-op day. Which means there is always a great spread of food to pick from in our Mom's Meeting. I know this and went prepared to have something, as I know there are usually fairly healthy options like fruit and veggie trays. But I had a few more meatballs than I needed to and had a brownie bite that I was dismayed to learn had 95 calories and 3 grams of fat in just the ONE BITE!). After getting home from co-op I tracked my calories for the day so far...and realized I should make my dinner on the lighter side in order to stay under my 2000 calories a day limit. And I did! Success!
2 - Friday I didn't feel great in the morning. I had breakfast, which was tasty, but didn't help me feel any better. I had a lighter late lunch, but not much else until later in the day. My low motivation caused me to not bother tracking my food at all either. But as the day progressed I felt better and was then quite hungry at dinnertime...where I proceeded to eat one more piece of pizza than I needed and snack on candy during movie time with our friends and family. I didn't track my calories for the day until this morning (Saturday) and learned that I had gone over my limit by a couple hundred calories. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but definitely a lesson that when I don't pay attention!
So I take back my previous assertions that keeping track of what I eat and counting calories doesn't work for me...turns out it DOES! :)
Enjoy your weekend!