Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Consequences

This was supposed to be posted yesterday, but I didn't have a lot of spare moments...so all this post got yesterday was a title...maybe a glimpse into why the title is why it is!  :)

The kids have had a rough time getting into the swing of things now that we are back to a 'normal' schedule.  Their behavior hasn't been atrocious, but it has been challenging.  This morning started great, but deteriorated at breakfast.  The thing that 'hooks' me the most as a Mom is when I give a very clear directive that is then very clearly ignored by the kids.  That is what happened this morning on multiple occasions.



I know that my weakness as a mom is leniency.  I let my kids misbehavior go until it sends me to the boiling point...and then the kids get a mouthful of a lecture from me, followed by a waterfall of consequences (this morning it was 30 minutes on their bed to 'think', followed by their regular chores and probably one or two extra).  I need consistency in my discipline.  Though my husband is much more consistent than I, we both need some practice in that area...that and making sure we are modeling the behavior we want to see from our kids ("Don't talk with your mouth full" I say to my child through my own mouth full of food...).

We've never really laid out a discipline/consequences plan that both my husband and I follow with any consistency.  Our usual consequences are time-outs, loss of privileges and extra chores.  Those seem to work okay, but I think it is the consistency issue that we really need to focus on. 


Moms and Dads out there who have been at the parenting thing much longer than I (just have 2 years under my belt), what are some of your recommendations, advice, tidbit of 'what worked for me' info that you can share with this exasperated mama?

PS - I've lost 4 pounds so far on my quest to Drop Down 100!!  Woo Hoo!

2 comments:

  1. What I did that worked well was sitting down and writing up a chart of "offenses" if you will and their direct consequences and posting it somewhere. That way everybody knows what's going to happen and there need not be any discussion or too-quick decisions at the time of offense. It helped ME with consistency and the kids responded well. Also, rewarding the behavior you want to see is really big...so if one of the kids follows a clear directive and the others don't, the one who did is rewarded. The kids start looking for ways to comply! Blessings and prayers on you guys. :)

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  2. Thanks Cheryl - that's helpful! I actually forget sometimes about how much MORE powerful that positive reward is over negative consequences...I think I'm going to focus on that more and see how it goes...I'll keep you updated...THANKS!

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